| Unlockable: | How to Unlock: |
| '42' tattoo | Visit the pretentious artist with the Terrycloth Tackle equipped |
| Accordion Tattoo | Complete a softore ascension as a Accordion Thief |
| Axe Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Knob Goblin Elite Guard Uniform equipped |
| Beer Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Frat Boy Ensemble equipped |
| Black 'I' Tattoo | Complete one hardcore ascension |
| Black 'II' Tattoo | Complete two hardcore ascensions |
| Black 'III' Tattoo | Complete three hardcore ascensions |
| Black 'IV' Tattoo | Complete four hardcore ascensions |
| Black 'IX' Tattoo | Complete nine hardcore ascensions |
| Black 'V' Tattoo | Complete five hardcore ascensions |
| Black 'VI' Tattoo | Complete six hardcore ascensions |
| Black 'VII' Tattoo | Complete seven hardcore ascensions |
| Black 'VIII' Tattoo | Complete eight hardcore ascensions |
| Black 'X' Tattoo | Complete ten hardcore ascensions |
| Black 'XI' Tattoo | Complete eleven hardcore ascensions |
| Black 'XI+' Tattoo | Complete twelve hardcore ascensions |
| Black Helmet Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Black Armaments equipped |
| Broken Bottle Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Frat Warrior Fatigues equipped |
| Bugbear Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Bugbear Costume equipped |
| Cloaca-Cola Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Cloaca-Cola Uniform equipped |
| Clock Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Time Trappings equipped |
| Clockwork Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Clockwork Apparatus equipped |
| Clown Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Terrifying Clown Suit equipped |
| Crimbo Pineapple Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Tropical Crimbo Duds equipped |
| Disco Ball Tattoo | Complete a softore ascension as a Disco Bandit |
| Duct tape tattoo | Visit the pretentious artist with the Tapered Threads equipped |
| Dyspepsi Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Dyspepsi-Cola Uniform equipped |
| Egg Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Grass Guise equipped. |
| Elbereth Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Yendorian Finery equipped |
| Fourty Two Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Terrycloth Tackle equipped |
| Gnauga Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Gnauga Tattoo equipped |
| Heart Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Knob Goblin Harem Girl Disguise equipped |
| Helmet Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Antique Arms And Armor equipped |
| Jellyfish Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Encephalic Ensemble equipped |
| Light Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Bow Tux equipped |
| Log Tattoo | Complete a softore ascension as a Seal Clubber |
| Loser Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Furry Suit equipped |
| Maple Leaf Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the OK Lumberjack Outfit equipped |
| Martini Tattoo | Acquired randomly when drinking Martinis |
| Meat stack tattoo | Visit the pretentious artist with the Bounty-hunting Rig equipped |
| Ninja Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Hot And Cold Ninja Running Suit equipped |
| No Beer Tattoo | Complete a hardcore teetotaler ascension |
| No Pasta Tattoo | Complete a hardcore boozetafarian ascension |
| Palette Tattoo | Find The Pretentious Artists 3 Items |
| Palm Leaves Tattoo | Visit the pretentious artist with the Palmist Paraphernalia equipped |
| Pasta Spoon Tattoo | Complete a softore ascension as a Pastamancer |
| Peace Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Filthy Hippy Disguise equipped |
| Pickaxe And Shovel Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Mining Gear equipped |
| Pirate Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Swashbuckling Getup equipped |
| Pixel Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the 8-Bit Finery equipped |
| Present Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Crimbo Duds equipped |
| Radio Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Radio Free Regalia equipped |
| Recycling Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Glad Bag Glad Rags outfit equipped |
| Saucepan Tattoo | Complete a softore ascension as a Sauceror |
| Scientific Oxygen Diagram Tattoo | Complete a hardcore oxygenaerian ascension |
| Snowflake Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the eXtreme Cold-Weather Gear equipped |
| Sparkling Accordion Tattoo | Complete a hardcore ascension as an Accordion Thief |
| Sparkling Disco Ball Tattoo | Complete a hardcore ascension as a Disco Bandit |
| Sparkling Log Tattoo | Complete a hardcore ascension as a Seal Clubber |
| Sparkling Pasta Spoon Tattoo | Complete a hardcore ascension as a Pastamancer |
| Sparkling Saucepan Tattoo | Complete a hardcore ascension as a Sauceror |
| Sparkling Turtle Tattoo | Complete a hardcore ascension as a Turtle Tamer |
| Star Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Star Garb equipped |
| Super Sparkling Accordion Tattoo | Complete a hardcore oxygenarian ascension as an Accordion Thief |
| Super Sparkling Disco Ball Tattoo | Complete a hardcore oxygenarian ascension as a Disco Bandit |
| Super Sparkling Log Tattoo | Complete a hardcore oxygenarian ascension as a Seal Clubber |
| Super Sparkling Pasta Spoon Tattoo | Complete a hardcore oxygenarian ascension as a Pastamancer |
| Super Sparkling Saucepan Tattoo | Complete a hardcore oxygenarian ascension as a Sauceror |
| Super Sparkling Turtle Tattoo | Complete a hardcore oxygenarian ascension as a Turtle Tamer |
| Turtle Tattoo | Complete a softore ascension as a Turtle Tamer |
| WAR Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the War Hipppy Fatigues equipped |
| White 'I' Tattoo | Complete one softcore ascension |
| White 'II' Tattoo | Complete two softcore ascension |
| White 'III' Tattoo | Complete three softcore ascension |
| White 'IV' Tattoo | Complete four softcore ascension |
| White 'IX' Tattoo | Complete nine softcore ascension |
| White 'V' Tattoo | Complete five softcore ascension |
| White 'VI' Tattoo | Complete six softcore ascension |
| White 'VII' Tattoo | Complete seven softcore ascension |
| White 'VIII' Tattoo | Complete eight softcore ascension |
| White 'X' Tattoo | Complete ten softcore ascension |
| White 'XI' Tattoo | Complete eleven softcore ascension |
| White 'XI+' Tattoo | Complete twelve softcore ascension |
| Wreath Tatoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Arboreal Raiment equipped |
| Unlockable: | How to Unlock: |
| 100 pound load | get familiar total weight 100 |
| 300 pound load | get familiar total weight 300 |
| 99 Red Balloons | Multiuse 99 red balloons all at the same time |
| Amateur Tour Guide | Have 10 Different 90-100% Favourite Familiars In Your Ascension History |
| Best Meal of My Life | Eat 60 White Citadel burgers, 10 White Citadel Fries, and drink 4 Cherry and Diet Cloaca Colas |
| big boat | take 1000 shore trips |
| Big Boss | Beat boss bat, goblin king, and bonerdagon at level 11 canadia setting |
| black hole terrarium | get familiar total weight 500 |
| bouquet of Hippies | eat 420 herb brownies |
| Brass Bowling Trophy Trophy | Get the trophy in the Strange Leaflet quest |
| Brave Sir Robin | run away from 100 battles |
| Bringer of Storms | use 100 chaos butterflies |
| clockwork trophy | find 10 clockwork keys in one ascension |
| Cool Customer | Have Coldform And At Least 100 Bonus Cold Damage/Spell Damage |
| Crossroads | use 50 scrolls of ancient forbidden unspeakable evil |
| Der Toastieb | Get toast from a PVP fight |
| Disgusting Cocktail | Drink 5 tomato daiquiris |
| Dreadul, Just Dreadful | Have Spookyform And At Least 100 Bonus Spooky Damage/Spell Damage |
| Duke of Disco | Achieve level 30 as a Disco Bandit |
| Easy come, Easy go | discard 1 pretty flower |
| Eerily Skilled | make all 6 Spookyraven Manor skills permanent |
| Extinctionist | Kill all Dungeons of Doom monsters 120 times |
| failure to communicate | eat 50 lucky surprise eggs |
| Festive Dismemberment | Acquire the Missing Fingers effect by using a Knob Goblin firecracker on July 4th |
| Friend of Elves | Defeat 10 Reindeer in the Crimbo Town Factory |
| Friend of the Devils | Summon any combination of 30 demons in the Summoning Chamber |
| Gadget Inspector | Obtain 10 clockwork keys from the Thugnderdome |
| Gender Bender | Get 30 sex changes in the Sleazy Back Alley |
| Golden Meat Stack | Accumulate 1,000,000 meat in Hardcore |
| golden yeti | spend 100 turns protesting yeti slaughter |
| Gourdcore | get all gourd potions in one hardcore ascension |
| Hothouse Hero | Have Hotform And At Least 100 Bonus Hot Damage/Spell Damage |
| I Heart Canadia | Drink 30 white canadians |
| I Love a Parade | Use 11 handfuls of confetti at once |
| Jack of Several Trade | get all gnome skills permanently |
| Let my bugbears go | visit the Bugbear Pens in a bugbear outfit after freeing them from the Spooky Gravy Fairies and get the One Day in the Life adventure |
| little boat | take 100 shore trips |
| Little Chickadee | Get 1000 drunkeness |
| Maestro of Mariachi | Achieve level 30 as an Accordion Thief |
| Malodorous | Have Stenchorm And At Least 100 Bonus Stench Damage/Spell Damage |
| Palindrophy | Get a pagoda |
| Pantsless! | Obtained by taking off your pants, in game, at the crossover from 2005-2006 |
| Phileas Foggy | Drink 80 around the worlds |
| Platinum Skull | Eat 5 spaghetti with skullheads |
| Potentate of Pasta | Achieve level 30 as a Pastamancer |
| Professional Tour Guide | Have 30 Different 90-100% Favourite Familiars In Your Ascension History |
| Reindeer Hunter | Defeat 100 Reindeer in the Crimbo Town Factory |
| Sauciest Saucier | Achieve level 30 as a Sauceror |
| Scourge of Seals | Achieve level 30 as a Seal Clubber |
| silver yeti | spend 10 turns protesting yeti slaughter |
| Slapstick Trophy | Discard and slip on 3 separate banana peels |
| Slice and Dice | Ascend with a 20 pound Stab Bat |
| The Butler Did It | Use the Manual of Labor/Transmission/Dexterity 30 times |
| The Ghuol Cup | Eat 11 ghuol guolashes |
| The Three Amigos | Donate 1,000,000 meat to each of the three statues in The Hall of the Legends of the Times of Old |
| This Lousy Trophy | Be around when ascension started |
| three-tiered trophy | consume a three-tiered wedding cake |
| tiny plastic trophy | have all 32 tiny plastic items in you display case |
| trivially skilled | permanently get the original skills you start with. |
| Two-Tiered Tiny Plastic Trophy | Display All 64 Tiny Plastic Series 2 Figurines In Your Display Case |
| Tzar of Turtles | Achieve level 30 as a Turtle Tamer |
| Weeping Pizza | Eat 5 white chocolate and tomato pizzas |
| Wink Wink Nudge Nudge | Have Sleazeform And At Least 100 Bonus Sleazy Damage/Spell Damage |
| Your Log Saw Something That Night | Type Laura Palmer into the notes section of the quest log |
